It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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