BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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