***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
