Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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