I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
