There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
