While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
