no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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