dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
