wakey wakey hands off snakey
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
