i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
