I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
