True but thats because hes a fetus.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
