do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
