Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
