Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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