i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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