thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
