The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
