Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
