I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
