I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
