What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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