when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
