A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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