the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
