I want to make a zoo with you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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