Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
