Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
