I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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