What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
