i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I looked at my own cervix.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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