He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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