I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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