There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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