You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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