we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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