Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
