this beer tastes like vomit already
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
