He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
