"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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