It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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