Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
