we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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