My balls are so social today.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
