my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
