Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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