I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
