She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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