She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
