you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize