we're blogging at a bar
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
