my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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