when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
