The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
two words: eviction party
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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