Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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