Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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