weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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