i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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