just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
