Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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